Memoirs of a Kunoichi
by Dark Promise
Summary: "The heart dies a slow death, shedding each hope like leaves... Until one day there are none. No hopes. Nothing remains." - SasuSaku. Things are happening in Sakura's life, how will she deal with it? Sakura centric.


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

**_Warning:_** NC-17/MA! Dark themes.

**Chapter 1: **

"I want to disappear."

The pen Naruto was holding to sign off some papers, fell from his lean fingers, hit the wooden desk with a dull thump and rolled slightly before settling. He stood, expressive blue eyes full of concern. His pink-haired teammate of many years stared back apathetically. Walking around the desk quickly, the knuckle-headed ninja rested his hands on her slim frail shoulders.

"Sakura-chan… you don't know what you are saying.. You've just recovered from-"

"Please…" The raw voice made his heart ache, "help me disappear."

He swallowed slowly, knowing full well what she had gone through in the past year. Taking one hand off her shoulder he rubbed his face and ended up ruffling his abnormally bright messy hair. Naruto tried to smile, but his heart was too heavy. Sakura-chan wanted to disappear; distressing news indeed. He managed to pull away from her somehow and sat back down. Picking up the forgotten pen, he raised it before resting it against a piece of clean parchment.

"I can send you away on a long reconnaissance mission, until you are ready to return… Or… when the leaf village needs your assistance."

His answer came in the form of a solid nod.

Naruto's hands shook as he wrote out the mission. Sealing it with the Hokage stamp, he rolled up the scroll and handed it to her.

She turned to leave, her small hand rested on the doorknob.

"Sakura-chan.."

Sakura glanced over her shoulder, her once enchantingly green eyes were dull and lifeless.

"Be careful."

The door shut with a soft click.

* * *

**[Sakura narrating]**

_I wasn't always this cracked. A year ago I was a normal eighteen year old girl, beautiful and strong. I was the hailed second coming of the legendary kunoichi, Tsunade, which was my shishou. My life revolved around hospital work, hanging out with my former classmates, and going on missions with Team Kakashi. Everything changed when he came back. It all started on that mission…_

* * *

**A Year Earlier, S-Ranked Mission**

Sakura watched the campfire crackle, hiss, and spew red angry flames as Kakashi stoked it.

She slowly ate the rice balls she packed two days ago. They were slightly dry, but still good. Opening her canteen, she took a long drink before wiping her mouth on her arm. Sakura tried to ignore the dark penetrating stare from a certain teammate that could be felt as hot as the flames licking at the air. She didn't know how she felt about him now; she remembered the battle at the valley of the end. It all happened there. Sasuke turned on Madara and Naruto helped defeat him. They laid together panting in exhaustion, Sakura standing off to the side with Kakashi. The Kyuubi holder turned to his friend whom he considered a brother and grinned. Sasuke tore his onyx eyes from the sky overhead to look at the idiot. They were both bloody and bruised, but they were alive. Naruto started chuckling, followed by Kakashi and Sakura. Sasuke was the last to laugh, this time it was a carefree melody that could be heard a mile away. He was finally free of his chains of hatred, he could start over.

After five long years, they laughed as a team.

Sakura's mind flashed back to the present as Naruto nudged her.

"Nee, Sakura-chan, are you ok?" He leaned close.

Sakura's eye brow twitched, "I'm fine… and Naruto…"

"Yes?"

SLAM

Naruto flipped on top of himself and landed in the dirt.

"You're too close!" Sakura huffed.

Naruto groaned while he got to his feet, wiping the small trail of blood from his lips.

"Sakura-chan… that hurt," Naruto whined.

"Hmph, serves you right dobe." Sasuke sipped from his own canteen. His posture, looks, and voice emanated a fine blooded Uchiha.

"Ehhh? You wanna go teme?" Naruto made a taijutsu pose, in which Kakashi whapped him on the head with his perverted book.

"Mah, alright you guys, it's getting late… we leave first thing in the morning."

Sakura unrolled her bed, making sure it wasn't too close to the fire, though close enough to have it's warmth. She snuggled under the covers and sighed, closing her eyes. Everything was quiet, save for the crickets chirping in tempo. Something warm and hard settled against her back. Stiffening, she craned her head around in panic. Sakura was met with glittering dark eyes, gazing at her with lust. Glancing around the fire, everyone was asleep.

"You-You should be keeping guard…" Sakura's voice quivered.

It was true, the first watch fell to Sasuke.

"True," He mused while whispering in her ear, "but I can think of ways to better occupy my time."

His right arm snaked around her waist, effectively capturing the young kunoichi. Using his left hand he fisted her silky pink locks and drew her head back sharply. Sakura hissed as her throat, neck, and lips laid bare to him. Sasuke watched a myriad of emotions play over her flawless face, full pink lips parted in wonder or fear, as emerald pools widened slightly. He chuckled, she shuddered.

"Please let me go…" She whimpered, "I don't know why you are doing this."

"You don't need to know," His matter-of-fact manner made her bristle in sudden anger.

"I think I do… considering you are touching me!" Sakura found her voice and glared up at him.

With a chaste kiss to her throat, he pulled down the covers in one swift movement. Lean fingers splayed across her exposed abdomen before sneaking up under her shirt to firmly squeeze one of her covered breasts. She jumped slightly, startled by the touch. Sakura could feel the his hot breath fan over her pale cheeks, his eyes focused on where his hand went. Suddenly, his left hand went south to cup her mound. She arched her back in unwanted pleasure. The Sasuke Uchiha was cupping her very intimately. She let out a particularly loud whimper.

"Shhhhh…." He crooned, "You don't want to wake the others, what would they think… seeing you in this state?"

Sakura became very still. She knew Sasuke could move away in a flash and leave her in a very compromising position.

"Pull down your pants…" His thumb drew lazy circles on the sensitive skin near her pelvis.

"W-what?" Sakura asked aghast, "No!"

"Either you cooperate or I make an embarrassing hole in your spandex." He left no room for argument.

Biting her lip and fighting back tears, she shimmied out of her tight form fitting pants.

"Naughty…" He murmured, noting her lack of panties.

The reason why Sakura didn't wear underwear with her spandex is because it made her sweat too much down there. Sakura's brow twitched, as if she'd tell him that. Sasuke's lean fingers found the seam of her sex, gently pressing with an up and downward motion. The full pink mouth parted in pleasure as she shivered at his touch. He nuzzled her cheek, gliding down to her neck; slow drawn out kisses on the bare sensitive flesh. Sakura's belly burned with desire, enough to make her start writhing. Sasuke felt the warm gush of fluid coating his fingers; smirking he inserted a digit into the tight warm wet sheath. He stopped when he felt a smooth round cherry-like object; she moaned softly in pain. A wave of relief rushed over him like a waterfall. She was untouched. The darker side of his mind came out then: _not for long_, with a self satisfied smirk. He slowly started to finger her gently, whilst his thumb ran circles around her clit. Sakura bit down on her lip hard, thighs starting to shake. A burst of white light, then a shock wave of unbelievable pleasure touched every nerve in her body.

_I-I'm melting…. _Sakura's brain turned to mush. All coherent thought left with it.

Sasuke chuckled as her hips involuntarily moved in tandem with his lean fingers.

"Good girl," He whispered huskily into the shell of her ear.

Sakura got a wake-up call.

"Ehh? I'm not just some-," Sakura blushed, clear indignation painted on her pretty face.

Ignoring the retort, he asked, nay demanded, "Lift your leg."

Sakura huffed and stared at the fire, hoping he'd leave her be.

Alas, Uchiha wants, Uchiha gets.

She heard a rustle of clothing behind her. What was he doing? Something hard and silky pressed into the bevel of her buttocks. Sakura nearly jumped sky high if she hadn't been in his possessive hold.

Oh. My. God.

_This can't be happening! _

"No… please stop," Sakura fought back tears.

"Hn, why should I? After all you said you'd do _anything _for me," Sasuke's dark eyes searched hers, waiting for an answer.

"I-I was young, I didn't know what I was saying."

Clearly grasping at straws.

"You want me," His hot breath warmed her cool skin.

"N-no…" Blushing, she looked away.

"Your mind may say no, but your body is way more honest."

He tested her by pressing the head of his member against her entrance; stifling a groan at how good it felt. He wanted to thrust all the way in, consequences be damned. Sasuke didn't know why she wasn't going to give herself freely to him. Years ago it had been 'Sasuke-kun' this and 'Sasuke-kun' that. What had changed? Apparently something had.

"Hmmm… Sakura-chan…"

A voice broke over the quiet crackle of the fire.

Naruto! Sakura's heart leaped with joy, he had always been her rescuer. Unconsciously she lurched forward, as if to answer Naruto's call. Sasuke frowned, holding her harder. In his almost bruising grip, she winced. His fury grew even more when she never took her eyes off the orange clad ninja.

"-SNORE- I'll save you…" Naruto tossed and turned in his bed roll, drool ever present rolling out of his mouth. If Sasuke hadn't been so focused on being mad, he would have made a face of disgust.

Glaring at Naruto, then Sakura; he slapped a hand over her mouth, thrusting to the hilt. She screamed into the palm of his hand, hot tears spilling over the smooth alabaster cheeks. He moaned this time in pure ecstasy, not knowing till now how good Sakura felt wrapped around him. Sakura's legs shifted uncontrollably as her body wracked in sudden pain. How could he do that to her? He waited until the tremors ceased and started to move. The pain slowly ebbed away and gave birth to bliss. He noticed the change in her face and the moans muffled in his hand. Sasuke moved faster, Sakura started to pant. She lost track of the time while spent swimming in a pool of body numbing sensations, but she knew he had made her cum at least four times.

He hissed out, "Here I go."

Sakura's eyes widened, _Not inside!_

She felt his cock twitch before hot liquid filled her womb.

Sasuke gave a few more jerky thrusts, lost in his own wonderland.

Sliding out, he rolled away from Sakura. A trickle of virgin's blood and semen escaped her quivering nether lips. Fully satisfied, he stood and regarded the girl who was now a woman. A smirk fell upon is handsome visage as he watched the blood and his seed intermingle. Glancing downward, he noticed he needed to wash himself off. Turning away, he finally spoke.

"You should get cleaned up, my shift is almost over."

In Sakura's hazy view, she watched as he grabbed his canteen and meticulously washed his private parts. Blushing and ashamed she ran her hand vigorously over her face before pushing herself up into a sitting position. Grabbing her own canteen, she thoroughly rinsed herself. Sakura's skin crawled, she wanted to bathe very badly. She felt dirty.

Sliding her spandex shorts back into their rightful place, she glared at his back. He had climbed a tree and settled down, facing towards the full moon, which had reached it's zenith. Crawling back under the covers, she closed her eyes, wishing it was all but a bad dream.

"Oi! Sakura-chan!" A blasting voice filled her sleepy ears.

"Aie!" Sakura sat straight up, clutching her pillow.

Everyone was dressed and ready to go. They had all been waiting for Sakura. Mortification stole over her as Sasuke gazed emotionlessly at her, as if nothing had ever happened. Sakura winced at the soreness between her legs as she rolled up her bed and added it to her pack. It definitely was not a dream, it had been very real. After she was done packing, they set off at a medium pace.

Sakura took up the rear while Kakashi took the lead, in front of her was Naruto on the left and Sasuke on the right. Suddenly a thought struck her like a stab to the heart. She didn't have any contraceptives and Sasuke had come inside. The next village is a week away, and herbs for contraception was few and far between in these parts. Sakura relaxed, a small giggle almost escaped. Of course she could cleanse her body from the inside using her medical ninjutsu, she wanted to smack herself for blanking out and dare she say it, had an Ino moment. Allowing chakra to flow to her fingertips, she placed it against her stomach. No one seemed to notice until Sasuke glanced back. Crap, Sakura's wide eyes landed on his heated glare. He knew full well what she was doing. Growling, he whipped his head to the front. He'd have to correct this setback later tonight. Sakura's skin prickled with dread, was it a premonition? Shaking it off, she followed her team.

Sakura's gut twisted sickeningly as she saw the sun start to settle. Had they been traveling for that long already? Kakashi finally told them to make camp. Sakura grabbed a bar of soap out of her pack along with a spare small towel. She smiled, such little things out here were considered luxuries. Sakura didn't have the chance to bathe last night. Where they stopped had a fresh water river a few kilometers from the camp.

"Ano… I'm going to go wash up," Sakura told them, not caring if they heard; cool water and clean skin called temptingly.

Naruto agreed to scout the area while Kakashi set up the perimeter.

Sasuke watched Sakura disappeared into the coming darkness.

"I'll gather the fire wood." Sasuke walked off in a different direction than Sakura, but double backed when he was out of sight of the camp. Kakashi's lazy eye narrowed as he felt Sasuke's chakra shift it's track and follow Sakura.

**A few hours later….**

Naruto and Kakashi sat around the fire, the future hokage's blue eyes filled with concern.

"Sakura and Sasuke should have been back by now," He rose to go find them.

"Mah, let me to do it, you stay here," Kakashi had an idea of what he would find. Sasuke was a male after all and Sakura was a beautiful female.

Kakashi set off in the direction of the river. It didn't take too long to hear the rush of the water, and the moans of a woman. The silver haired man stopped and crouched down behind a bush, not surprised at what he found.

* * *

Chapter End


End file.
